Seasons of Life: Why You're Not Supposed to Have It All Figured Out

Every Once in a While, The Universe Changes the Rules

Let me tell you about my two lives.

In one, I've spent years building a career in tech, systems, software development, architecture, the stuff that pays my bills and occasionally melts my brain at 3 a.m.

In the other, I'm a writer. First, it was journaling. Then blog posts. Then scripts. Then books. Now there's this whole parallel timeline: MindTheNerd, screenplays, a self-help book, a spy novel, a sci-fi project.

Will I become a "best-selling author" in this new season of life?

Maybe. Maybe not.

That's not actually the interesting part.

What's interesting is that this second season exists at all. That I get to experiment with a whole new identity without deleting the old one. That I can be both the person writing SQL queries and the person rewriting their own story in a Google Doc at midnight.

And if you're reading this thinking, "Wait, aren't you supposed to pick one thing and master it?", well, that's precisely the pressure I want to talk about.

Every Few Weeks, The Internet Lies to You

You've seen those inspirational quotes where they say.

You're supposed to have life figured out by your 20s. And if you don't, you'd better fix it fast.

That's nonsense.

Most of the adults I know, including me, aren't calmly executing a master plan; we're improvising. We're negotiating with our past choices, our current responsibilities, and whatever bedlam the universe decided to jive at us this year.

The Life Script Some People Get (And Many Don't)

For some people, life looks like a well-structured screenplay.

They pick the "right" program. They land the "right" first job. They meet the "right" partner at the "right" time. Their CV reads like a perfectly paced series: early career, promotion, promotion, leadership role, stable arc, respectable LinkedIn presence.

If that's your path: honestly, good for you. Enjoy it. There's nothing wrong with a smooth storyline.

But for a lot of us, it looks more like this: Start in the wrong field because it's what was available or the best option. Stay longer than you planned because of bills. Change jobs, change cities, sometimes change languages. Burnout. Recover. Try again, slightly wiser and slightly more tired.

My favorite quote is from Roman philosopher Seneca, who wrote nearly 2,000 years ago: "It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it."

He wasn't talking about productivity hacks or hustle culture. He was pointing out something simpler: we act as if life will never end and then complain that it's too short.

Somewhere between those two moods lives this pressure to "get it right" as early as possible.

But what if the goal isn't to get it right once and for all?

What if the goal is just to keep going -through different seasons of life- without confusing "unfinished" with "failing"?

Seasons of Life (Not Steps You Climb)

The metaphor I keep coming back to is seasons.

Not milestones. Not checklists. Seasons.

Here are a few I've seen, personally and around me:

1. The Exploration Season

You try things. Jobs, hobbies, relationships, cities. You say "yes" too quickly and "no" too slowly. Your resume looks like a buffet. You worry you're scattered. Really, you're gathering data.

2. The Stability Season

You commit to a career, a partner, a place. You build routines that stick. You start thinking about mortgages, kids, retirement accounts; adult stuff you used to tune out. Some days, you feel guilty about how normal your life looks. Most days, you're just grateful it's not one of those crazy ones.

3. The Disruption Season

Something breaks. It might be your choice (you quit, you move, you leave), or it might not be your choice at all (layoff, illness, loss). On the outside, it looks like regression. On the inside, it's a forced system reboot.

4. The Reinvention Season

You start picking up new skills, new identities. You return to old interests you abandoned because "there's no time." You feel like both a beginner and an imposter. That's normal. You're growing a new branch without cutting off the old tree.

Here's the catch: these do not map cleanly to age.

You can hit Exploration at 40.

Disruption at 18.

Reinvention at 60.

You can have mini seasons overlapping stable job + chaotic family, or solid home life + creative identity crisis.

If the universe is allowed to constantly change, why not you?

Enjoying the journey so far?
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You're Not Behind. You're in a Season.

When life feels messy, it's tempting to treat your history like a failed plan.

"Wrong degree."

"Wrong partner."

"Wrong job."

"Wrong time."

But that's not a biography; that's just an unkind review.

Paraphrasing the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, you don't control the timing of everything that happens to you. You control how you respond, what you focus on, and what story you tell about it.

Instead of asking, "Why am I so behind?" ask yourself this:

What season am I in right now?

Exploration, stability, disruption, reinvention… or some hybrid combination?

What might this season be trying to teach me?

Patience? Boundaries? Skill-building? Humility? Recovery?

What is one small, not-heroic, forward step I can take today?

Send one email. Read ten pages. Apply for one thing. Journal one page. Go for a walk instead of doom-scrolling.

Research consistently shows we underestimate how much we'll change in the future. Which is funny, because if you look back ten years, you've already changed more than you expected.

You're not a fixed character stuck in a bad chapter. You're a draft being revised in real time.

One Last Thought Before You Click Away

You will have good seasons and brutal seasons. You will be the hero and the villain in your own story at different times. You will make choices that age well and choices that don't.

None of that disqualifies you from a meaningful life.

You are not late. You are not early.

You are sometimes tired, sometimes hopeful, sometimes confused, but right on time for the season you're in.

The job is not to catch up to some imaginary timeline. The job is to keep moving, a little more honestly and intentionally than yesterday.

So, question for you:

What season are you in right now, and what tiny act would honor it today?

Stay nerdy, stay nice, stay curious.

If you like deep dives into creative chaos, productivity under pressure, and nerdy lessons from real-life experiments, subscribe to get future posts delivered right to your inbox. Subscribe Now